What Kids Really Need
In a “give me, give me” world, it is easy to get confused about what kids really need from their parents. As parents, we want to give our kids many things, and sometimes we want to give them everything we never had. Physically, we know kids need air, food, water, and shelter. But, spiritually speaking, what do our kids really need from us?
Kids need love
From the moment children are born, they depend completely on others. They need a lot of love from their parents. Research shows that the human touch is very important to a baby. Babies need love through touch, care, and attention. God is love (1 John 4:8). As a baby grows, he will need to be showered with unconditional love from his parents! He will need to learn about God through his parents. Love also translates into time, for kids equate time with love. Economic status really matters little in this regard. Our time doesn’t always cost a certain dollar amount, but it’s precious! Spending time with your children shows so much more love than anything that you can buy them. Think about this: You can buy a child a toy for one dollar and then sit and play with him for an hour. Or you can buy a child a $100 toy and think, “I have done my part; he needs to go play now.” Most likely, the child will feel more love from the hour spent than from the expensive toy.
Kids need godly parents
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
Parents need to teach their children any and every opportunity they can! We as parents can’t expect the church to teach our children everything they need to know about God and the Bible. It has to start at home. It needs to be a way of life. It needs to be integrated into our daily life: when we sit in our houses, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up. We must seize the moments that we have with our children! This may mean waking up earlier if the child goes to school. Most parents feed their children in the morning before sending them off to school. However, they often neglect spiritual food because of the morning rush. It only takes about 5-10 minutes to read a chapter of the Bible. It takes only about one or two minutes to read one verse, talk about it, and pray together.
Kids need the Bible. If they are small, it is our job as parents to teach them. Try to develop a true love for God’s Word. This can look like singing and holding or loving their Bibles when they are as young as babies. Then, when they are in the toddler years, make the Bible come alive for them! Act out stories, color pictures, etc. when you are teaching the Bible. Make an effort! Their love for God’s Word won’t come naturally if you don’t encourage it. When they begin to learn to read, let them read some to you, and you can help explain words or meanings. It is also beneficial for children to listen to an audio Bible on their tablets or other devices. Even if they do not understand everything, they are learning to listen to God’s Word, and you will be surprised at how much they can learn! Be joyful and intentional about your “Bible times” with your children. Be excited to gather around the table and study God’s Word; be excited to have family Bible devotionals together. They will see your joyful attitude and imitate that love for God’s Word! Try to be as consistent as you can with these “Bible times.” We are creatures of habit, and a habit may take about two months to form.1 What better habit could you have than creating time for teaching the Bible to your children!
Kids need play time
This is not too hard for most kids. Let us make sure that we allow them this important part of their growing life. Kids learn things through play, and we can be near them and help them get along with their siblings or other children. During free play, there are lots of opportunities to observe their attitudes. Also, show interest in your children and take time to play what they want you to play. Kids feel loved when you take the time to sit down, ask questions about what interests them, and show you care.
Kids need discipline
He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly (Proverbs 13:24). Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction (Proverbs 19:18).
The Bible clearly says that we are to train our children in the Lord and administer discipline to teach them. Children need to know boundaries, and parents need to be consistent in their discipline. They need to know that they are expected to obey the first time. They need to know the family is a unit or team where everyone works together with a common purpose. The children are not in competition with each other to see who is the “best” at being a child. Household chores are meant to be a collaboration that helps the family, so Mom and/or Dad don’t have to do every chore. They can contribute as family members as they grow older, building mutual respect.
As you give kids many things, don’t forget to give them what they really need!
1 Phillippa Lally, et al., “How Are Habits Formed,” European Journal of Social Psychology, 40.6 (2010): 998-1009.
Published in Christian Family 1.1 (2016): 8-9. Updated in August 2026.
